Confessions Of The Weak
by DrayMiaOnly
Summary: "When the words came, when the feeling rushed through him and the confession was perched on his tongue, he had been taken by surprise." *Dean/Sam* Story contains incest.


**A/N:** I've only recently started to read Supernatural fanfiction, and I've just wanted to try my hand at it.

**Disclaimer:** Eric Kripke owns the boys. I just borrowed them to play a little. (Why did that sentence turned me on? I blame Jensen and Jared *sighs*)

**Story Details:** Takes place after Dean returned from Hell. Obviously AU since I'm shipping them. **Dean/Sam** people, don't like? don't read ;)

**Warnings:** Rated M for profanity, suggestive themes and **incest**. If you're offended by any of these do not read this story.

* * *

"I love you..." The words fell off Sam's mouth like snowflakes on dry ground; quietly and softly, but with promises of more to follow. A vivid contrary of the powerful orgasm that burst it's way through his entire body, leaving him spent, exhausted and terrified.

Dean froze above him, trying to comprehend the meaning of the plea, but, at the same time, wishing to have perceived it wrongly. Still panting for breath, he raised his hand towards his brother's chin and tilted his face up.

Warm, chocolate brown, eyes radiating love and an odd blend of relief with worry, looked at Dean through a curtain of eyelashes. They whispered everything Sam's mouth couldn't.

'_Please, don't regret this._'  
'_Please, don't leave me again._'  
'_Please love me._'

Dean wanted to disappear.

How could he have lost his self-control so carelessly? How did he allow himself to _take_ Sam in such a way? They could never be together; they were brothers.

But, oh god, 40 years in hell, without Sam or at least some hope they'd be reunited once again had drove Dean insane. When his younger brother hugged him, it hadn't been enough. He needed to feel Sam. Really feel him; to be buried deep inside him, to mold their bodies together, and never let go again. And, surprisingly, Sam hadn't push him away in disgust, when Dean had desperately connected their lips.

He had let Dean take anything the older man wanted. He had let him take _everything_. Dean wished he didn't have to give it back. Give Sam up, would be the hardest thing he would ever had to do. But, he had to. He couldn't condemn his brother this way. To force him inside a relationship that not only would be a dead-end, but was also illegal and severely frowned upon.

Sam saw the panic and regret that flashed on Dean's face. His chest constricted, his heart ached, his stomach sank.

It was all out in the open, and everything was ruined.

He was in love with his brother, and Dean didn't love him back.

His head started spinning. Something was choking him. There was a constricting feeling around his throat and nothing would come out, to save the slip up.

It had probably been the heat of the moment; that, and Dean's instinct of always taking care of his brother's needs.

"I- I didn't mean- I'm sorry, Sammy." He had never heard Dean stutter like that. Oh god, he didn't want to listen to this. He couldn't stand it.

"Get off me." he pleaded, desperate to flee -first to the bathroom, then from the room of the crappy motel, then the town, the state, the fucking country-. It didn't matter where he'd go. Dean didn't want him here anymore.

He should have known better. He should have bitten his tongue, shut the hell up and for once enjoy the moment. If he had known it was all he would get, he would have done so.

When the words came, when the feeling rushed through him and the confession was perched on his tongue, he had been taken by surprise. It wasn't familiar, to have such a _need_ to express his feelings. And he should have kept it a secret. It was too fragile to say aloud.

And, now, it was impossible to take it back.

The moment Dean lied on his back, Sam rolled out of the bed, avoiding his brother's eyes. "I- uh..." he cleared his throat, though he knew it wouldn't matter, his voice would crack anyway. "Can I use the bathroom before I leave?" he asked, and he didn't know why. He felt like a child, like he needed permission to exist in this room, where Dean didn't want him to be, for a few more minutes.

Dean snapped his head up to look at him, so quickly Sam thought he heard his neck protest. "Leave? To go where?" he asked and Sam blamed his hazy mind for reading concern in his tone.

"You don't have to do this, Dean. You don't _want_ me here. I get it." Tears where swimming inside his eyes, and he didn't care. He didn't care Dean would see how much this was hurting him. He didn't care about anything anymore.

Dean's panic changed direction. "No. No, no, no, no. Sammy, don't do that. We'll figure this out. Let's just agree this never happened. And we'll move on." It _hurt_. Damn, it hurt to deny Sam; deny the only person Dean ever managed to _actually_ love.

"I can't just forget it, Dean. I've wanted you for a very long time. And I won't sit around to watch you go back to your old habits, while we've... I wouldn't be able to ignore it." Sam angrily wiped the tears away to clear his vision. But everything around him remained blurred.

Dean knew what he was talking about. But, Sam was wrong. Now that Dean knew what he could have, everything he ever wanted or needed, he couldn't go back to fuck his way across the country. Right now, just thinking about being with anyone, who wasn't Sam, made his stomach turn.

He wanted to say '_Okay, we can do this; be together, and let the rest of the world go to hell._' It wasn't like they were going to hurt anybody. Whether they were together or not, it didn't have an impact on anyone besides the two of them.

But, Dean had always been trying to do what was best for Sam.

"Sammy, I lo-"

"_Don't!_" Sam's voice sounded frightened, and it made Dean feel sick.

"Don't say it! I don't need you to say that you love me because I'm your brother, and that everything is going to work out! They won't, Dee! I'm in love with you. And that's not changing, even if you don't love me back the way I want you to."

Dean frowned confused. '_Don't love him back the way he wants me to? Oh fuck!_'

His eyes almost popped out of his head, and he all but pounced from the bed, straight on top of his stunned brother. His hands gripped Sam's arms, and pinned him on the floor, while the younger thrusted wildly to broke free.

"Sam, what are you talking about? I didn't say that I don't return your feelings! I'm talking about society!"

His words did the trick and Sam froze beneath him. "You- What? You asshole!"

Sam had punched him, before Dean had the time to realize that he had freed his right hand.

Next thing he knew Sam was on top of him, pinning him down with hands and feet.

"Fuck! You idiot! I thought you were rejecting me, and you were talking about the rest of the world? Since when do we give a fuck? They don't know us! They don't know what we've been through, and they haven't the slightest idea about what we mean to each other!" Sam growled, angry with his brother, more than he'd ever been before.

"You thought- Sam, _of course_ I love you. How could you ever think I don't?" Dean asked, regretting the way he had approached the matter. Sam thought he didn't love him? Sam was right, Dean really was an asshole!

Sam's anger melt away, and his hands loosened the pressure on Dean's chest. "You do?" he asked, and his voice sounded so small and vulnerable that Dean wanted to kick himself.

"Sammy." He whispered shaking his head. He raised his torso, effectively pushing a now relaxed Sam on his lap, as he sat on the stained carpet. He hugged the younger hunter as tightly as he could.

"I love you. I love you _so much_, baby boy. You're the only one I've ever loved in my life. And that's never gonna change, Sammy." he whispered earnestly; his breath licking Sam's ear.

"You and your damned 'brother instinct' will be the death of me." Sam mumbled, smiling despite himself, as he snaked his arms around his brother's waist. "Fuck the world, Dee. It's just you and me. It's always been you and me."

"You're right. And I'm sorry." Dean breathed against Sam's neck, kissing the skin there softly, between the words. "I'm so sorry, I've ruined the whole mood."

"Jerk." Sam shivered, certain body parts twitching with interest, at Dean's open-mouthed kisses.

Dean didn't retaliate, instead he hummed his agreement upon Sam's throat, nibbling his way to his jaw.

"You have a lot of shit to make up for, ya know that?" Sam asked moaning as Dean's fingers caressed his shoulder blades, smoothing their way down to the small of his back.

"Uh-huh" Dean approved, kissing both corners of Sam's mouth, running his tongue across his bottom lip and bitting it gently with his teeth.

"And it's gonna take hours, baby boy." he felt Sam's lips smiling on his shoulder, and his heart swelled with love and tenderness. How could he ever think, he would be able to give this up?

Sam hoped it wouldn't take hours; he hoped it would take _forever_.

* * *

**A/N: **So... whaddaya think? I hope it's at least decent.

Did it came out too fluffy? It's not my fault I love these boys together *pouts*

Lemme know and thank you for reading! :)


End file.
